How to raise bilingual children is a question I really struggle with. I myself am bilingual having moved to England from Holland when I was a child. I attended primary school in England and secondary school in Holland, before coming to England to attend university. I have lived in England ever since.
I really would like to give my children the best start in life and being raised bilingually could really help in that.
My issues with raising my children bilingually:
- My wife doesn’t speak Dutch: Although she has expressed an interest in learning it’s not an easy language and finding the time to teach her is very difficult. This also raises another issue. If I do teach my children Dutch they could speak it in front of my wife and she wouldn’t know what they were saying. I imagine two young children could get very mischievous with that.
- Dutch isn’t the best second language to have: It’s not a world language like Spanish, Mandarin or even German and French. Although a second language can be a big advantage I’m just not sure how much of an advantage Dutch would be. We don’t have that many friends and family there and those that we do have speak good english.
- My Dutch isn’t the best anymore: Although I was born in Holland and have been to school there I have lived in England so long now that my dutch isn’t that great anymore. I sometimes struggle to remember words and I definitely feel english is my mother tongue now. Therefore it doesn’t feel natural to me to be speaking Dutch and it is why I often forgot to speak it in front of my children.
- Finding the time: We attend toddler groups or classes most days usually with friend and the conversations we have there are naturally in English.
I would still like to raise bilingual children
Despite all the issues mentioned above I would ideally want to raise bilingual children and teach my daughters Dutch. Below are some potential ideas
- Read more Dutch books to my daughters, especially at bedtime.
- Try and have dedicated Dutch times/days where I can teach both my daughters and my wife Dutch.
- Let them watch some Dutch childrens programmes on youtube.
I would really appreciate any other ideas that anyone has. Being bilingual is a life skill and it would be a shame not to pass that on to my daughters.
I’ve recently noticed how important a certain amount of routine is to our daughter. I’m not talking about a regimented day to day routine that we have, but about activities that she’s been missing.
There have been two recent incidents, which has made part of me feel that we have neglected her needs. However I know this is very irrational as what she’s been missing has been replaced by other interests and activities.
The local music group Our daughter had been going to a local music group pretty much every Monday for well over a year. However in the recent run up to christmas we started attending a different toddler group as her friends go there a lot. She also really enjoys this group. However last week we took her back to the music group and she wasn’t her normal bouncy self. Don’t get me wrong she still really enjoyed it, but she wouldn’t go to the front and join in as she used to do. She was just a bit wary and shy.
We went back this week and she was a little bit better and did go to the front, but only when holding mummy’s hand. In a way it seems that we have to slowly rebuild the confidence that she had built up by attending regularly. I’m sure if we keep going she’ll be back to her normal bubbly self in no time. The dilemma we now have is can we keep her confidence up in both the music group and the toddler group by rotating them regularly as it would be a shame to completely drop one for the other as both are good for different reasons.
The second incident is when we took her swimming recently. Before her sister was born we used to go swimming nearly every week and she loved it. She used to enjoy sitting on the side and jumping/diving into the water. The birth of her sister, subsequent tiredness, illnesses and the christmas break have meant that we hadn’t been swimming for nearly six months. We were keen to get her and her sister back in the pool. For her sister it was a first and she seemed to really enjoy it. Whilst our eldest did seem to enjoy herself and in the end didn’t want to get out it seemed all she wanted to do was walk around in the toddler pool. She wasn’t interested in going in the big pool or along the lazy river. Things that she really enjoyed when she last went.
We are now very keen to get her in as regular routine of going swimming as we want to give her lessons soon. First we have to rebuild her confidence for going in the water. As it would be a shame if when we paid for lessons she didn’t want to get in.
What these two experiences have made me realise is that children’s memories don’t seem to be as long. Although she did remember both the music group and the swimming she didn’t remember what she used to like about them. She didn’t have the confidence to do things she was confident in before.
What I’ve learnt from these two incidents is that we need to do the activities my daughters enjoy regularly so they can continue to have enjoyment out of it. After all these activities aren’t cheap so it’s important that when we spend that money our daughters enjoy it to their utmost.
Being a parent usually means the income you are accustomed to suddenly changes drastically. Either one of the parents stays at home to look after the children or both parents work having to pay large nursery or child minding fees. Unless you are lucky enough to have an extended family member or friend look after the children at no cost.
It is therefore often necessary to look after the pennies once a baby arrives. Below I have listed a few ways in which you can try and cut your grocery bills.
- Lidl half price weekend offers: A lot of news reports have highlighted the rise of the discount chains Lidl and Aldi. They are definitely a place where you can save on your weekly shopping. However did you know that Lidl also do half price weekly offers where they have three or four products half price. They are often really good deals. This weekend for example they have a 200g bar of premium chocolate for 49p, Kiwis for 12p and 100g of Grano Pandano cheese for 59p. Now these deals might not be your cup of tea, but it is always worth checking out what the weekend offers are going to be just in case they’re something you buy on a regular basis. You can find the deals on the Lidl Website or you can download their app.
- Aldi super six: Again just like Lidl, Aldi is a discounter where you can save on your weekly shopping compared to the bigger supermarkets. However you have to remember that it is pretty much all own brand food. Whilst a lot of it is just as or nearly as good as branded food, other things in my opinion aren’t so it would be trial and error to see which staples you can replace. They do however have a weekly fruit and veg offer called super 6. This is where they offer 6 fruits and/or vegetables at great prices. This week for example the best deal they have is blueberries at 69p for 125g(£5.52 per kg), the current cheapest per kg price for fresh blueberries at Tesco is £12 per kg. You can find the Super six deals on the Aldi website or with their app.
- Freezer fruits and vegetables: That lead me nicely on to my next point. The cost and convenience of freezer fruits and vegetables. Not only are they often much cheaper, there is less chance of wastage. In the Aldi section above, I mentioned that the cheapest fresh blueberries at Tesco worked out at £12 per kg. Well the cheapest frozen blueberries at Tesco are £5.72per kg, which is less than half price. Other examples are Broccoli(fresh £1.40 per kg/frozen £0.99 per kg), Green Beans(fresh £4.42 per kg/frozen £1.12 per kg) and sprouts(fresh £2 per kg and frozen £1 per kg). Of course there are seasonal variations in the cost of fresh vegetables so the difference will change as well. Additionally they will often save peeling and preparation time.
- Approved food: Approved food is an online retailer of goods that are often near their best before date or which have just passed it. The majority of the time there is absolutely no difference in taste if an item is slightly over it’s best before date. The savings that you can make can be big, although you do have to buy a reasonable amount due to the delivery fee. The delivery charge is based on weight, up to 25kg is £5.99 so it is wise to mainly go for lighter purchases. Stock availability changes regularly and they also do special daily deals so every time you go on it they can be different. For example, as I’m writing this, they have; Old El Paso Creamy Poblano Pepper Casserole Recipe Mix 40g at 5 for £1 (best before 20th Feb). the rrp is £1.30 each so that is a saving of over 80%. They also have 5 x Hellmans extra hot 450g tomato ketchup best before 20th of Dec 2014 for £1, compared to an rrp of £1.29 each. Again this is a saving of over 80%.
- Go vegetarian: I myself am an avid meat eater, but it is a lot more expensive. As we’re on a budget we are trying to have two to three vegetarian meals a week. For example this could be a vegetarian stir fry, pasta dish or curry. This does make a big difference in the amount we spend and the dishes we make are still really tasty.
- Use cheaper cuts of meat: On the days that we do eat meat we try and go for the cheaper cuts. These are often cuts that need to be cooked longer at a low heat. This is perfect for stews and casseroles in the winter. A slow cooker is great for this as you put the food on in the morning and it’s ready for dinner time. Using a slow cooker for eight hours is also cheaper to run than an electric oven for one hour.
- Discount Stores: I’m thinking of the likes of B&M, HomeBargains, Poundstretcher, etc. These places often have really good deals and a bit like Approved Food it sort of depends what they’ve been able to buy in bulk, for whatever reason. It could be cheap chocolate after Valentine’s Day, sweets after Halloween or sometimes it’s just nearing the best before date. I have had some great bargains from these kinds of shops before, however I would not make a special trip, but if you’re passing one it’s worth just popping in and checking out what they’ve got on the day.
- Buy cheaper products: What I mean by this is you should try out a lower priced alternative to what you normally buy. If you buy branded products try a supermarket own brand. If you buy a standard supermarket brand, try the value range. Sometimes you’ll find that the cheaper alternative tastes just as good, other times you’ll never want to buy the cheaper alternative again. However if you can substitute just a part of your annual spend to a cheaper alternative it could mean big savings in the long run.
- Compare supermarket prices: Mysupermarket is a website whereby you can input a basket of goods and it will tell you what the cheapest supermarket is for that basket. When you are in need of just one specific item do you just go to your normal supermarket or do you walk into every supermarket to see if it’s on offer? With Supermarket Special Offers you just type in what you are looking for and they will let you know which supermarkets have got it on sale. So if you’re like us and there are 3 or 4 different supermarket brands with a similar journey time you can go to the one that has the offer on that specific item.
- Look for reduced items: Most supermarkets have a reduced section. This usually consists of food that has a sell by or use by date of the day you buy it. It can be a good way of getting a discount. With luck it will be something you were going to buy and use that day anyway. Otherwise you could change your meal plan for that day. In the case of most fruits and vegetables they are often fine even after the sell by date. However with meat and fish I would take great care and use it on the same day or freeze it. In addition some supermarkets have a reduced section for long shelf life goods. Perhaps some cans that have been damaged, or they are products that they are not going to stock anymore. In these cases you can pick up items you need at a cheaper price.
- Coupons: Coupons can also be a good way of reducing your bills especially if they are on things you would buy anyway. Good places to find coupons are inside free supermarket magazines or on a product for when you buy the product again. I recall when Nando’s had a £1 off the next purchase and Tesco had them at half price so they cost £1. In effect you kept getting a bottle free every time you bought one. You can also get coupons by joining online clubs such as the Cow and Gate Club, Pampers and Heinz. There is also a phenomenon called extreme couponing where you can find lots of coupons to use. Should you have the time and patience then you might want to check out these blogs extreme couponing and http://www.ukcouponing.co.uk/.
- Online initial deals: Most supermarkets give you a good discount code when you place the first online order with them. So you could save a bit of money by doing this with a few of them. I have written an earlier blog post about that here.
- Receipt photography: This one might seem a bit strange at first but cashback sites Topcashback and Quidco both offer a service whereby you get cash back on your shopping if you buy certain products. You just need to send them a photo of the receipt as proof. At Topcashback it is called Snap and Save and current offers include 20p cashback when you buy Hovis soft white bread, 40p of Nutella and 50p of Special K. At Quidco the offering is called Click Snap and currently it includes 25p off any Aldi or Lidl shop, 15p cashback when you buy Cadbury’s fingers and 20p off Onken yoghurt. If you’re signed up to either of these services, it’s always worth signing up to at least one of them for cash back on most of your online shopping. It’s then worth checking even after you’ve been to the shops. You never know you might have bought something for which you can get some cash back just by submitting a photo of the receipt.
- Packed lunches: Making packed lunches is another good way of saving money. Whenever we go out with the children, we always make sure to take a lunch with us as this is so much cheaper than eating out or even buying a sandwich. Someone who spends just £3 a day on a packed lunch will, if they buy it five days a week for 48 weeks, spend £720 just on their lunch. Home made lunches will come in at just a fraction of this.
- Use freezer when stuff is cheap: When there are good deals on freezable food then it is always worth buying some extra and freezing it. For example, near Easter time Asda were doing leg of lamb for under £5 a kg. This was very good value so we bought a few to freeze for special occasions. You just need to have some discipline and remember what you have frozen and use it in a first in first out system so you don’t end up with food that has been sitting in your freezer for years.
- Cook in bulk: Another good thing to do is to cook in bulk and then have the same meal a few times in the week or again freeze some of it. Not only can this save money it can also save a lot of time. It’s a lot quicker to cook a double batch of one meal than to cook two separate meals.
- Go to the local market: This is one that I haven’t really tried myself yet, but a lot of people say that the food at local markets is a lot cheaper than in the big supermarkets. It is definitely something that I will try and check out for myself.
Since we’ve had our daughters it has been imperative that we try and keep our outgoings down as much as possible. We have used each of the above ways to trim our grocery spending. I understand that following each of these ideas might be a bit extreme, but hopefully you’ve discovered one or two new ideas that will help you reduce your outgoings somewhat. I would also love to hear any other money saving ideas that you might have.
My daughters seem to have a sixth sense for waking up and/or causing mischief at exactly the wrong time.
I can pretty much guarantee that every night when I try to sleep one or the other will wake up and cry. Not often enough for me to get up, but enough to think that they must sense that I’m wanting to go to sleep.
The worst nights are the ones where they gang up on you. One will be up with wind till two in the morning and once they’re finally settled the other will wake up ten minutes later. It’s amazing how often this seems to happen.
During the day
There are so many times when they are no trouble all day long and just when you need them to be quiet for five minutes as you’re on the phone or cooking they’ll be crying or throwing a tantrum. It’s not necessarily that they’re not getting attention at that point as my eldest will happily play on her own for quite a while and my youngest is often asleep or happy playing on her piano gym. It’s just that they sense what is the worst time for you to draw attention to themselves and then they do it.
Please tell me this phenomenon isn’t restricted to just my household.
Now my daughter is chattering more she comes out with things that could get embarrassing if spoken in public. Some of these are our own fault.
From an early age we used to say farty pants when my daughter broke wind. She now practically shouts it out herself when someone breaks wind. Not only does she say farty pants she’ll also name and shame the person who broke wind. That could be mummy, daddy, her four month old sister or herself. It’s only happened a few times in public and fairly quietly. Nobody else reacted to it so I think we’ve got away with it so far.
However that is not the worst that she could say.
Two current fears
– Great tit(s): My daughter has been really interested in birds recently and we often show her a bird book at night. She can recognize different species and often says tits or even blue or great tits when we are out and about. Now this isn’t that embarrassing in itself. However, it could get very embarrassing if she says it just as my wife is breastfeeding her baby sister.
– Fork: That’s an innocent enough word you might think. However my daughter pronounces it in a very rude way. Just replace the “or” in fork with “uc” and you will get the gist. We had her uncle over for tea last weekend and she said it a few times as her fork was just out of reach. We all ended up in uncontrollable stitches which made it worse as she then thought it was funny and kept shouting out the word.
Then when she didn’t want her fork anymore she said “fork off”. You can just imagine the reaction this got. I’m just waiting for this to happen when we are out eating in public.
Please tell me we’re not alone
If you’ve got any embarrassing words that your children have come out with in public or that they are saying in private, but you fear they might say in public I would love to hear about it. It would be great to know that this happens to everybody.
Last summer my wife and I were having a discussion about the proper footwear for our daughter. My opinion was that it was fine for her to be barefoot in the park, but my wife believed she needed to wear shoes. My wife was worried about her getting splinters, cuts or dog dirt, which is understandable as there could be anything hidden in the grass.
Getting on my high horse thinking I was right I did a google search for barefoot or shoes for babies. I came upon an article in the Guardian that suggested being barefoot was best, but that you can now get barefoot shoes, which aim to give you the best of both worlds. Having done some more research we found that one particular brand, Bobux had some stockists fairly locally so we could try them out.
Just before we decided on a barefoot shoes we were looking at Clarks shoes and went to a Clarks store to get our daughters feet measured. The first store said she was a size 4F, but didn’t have the size we needed. Within a week we went to another Clarks store and they said she was a 3.5F. Seeking a third opinion we went to a Brantano store and they said she was a 4.5G. We were a bit cynical of the last place as we were looking at size 4 shoes that were in the sale and were advised they would be too small, even though they felt fine to us. However the fact remains that within a week we got told our daughter was three different shoe sizes. I would therefore recommend that you take care when accepting the sizing that you are given. Even in a leading shoe store like Clarks. The size they give you can be an indication, but I would always go with what your own feeling is when your child tries them on.
When we tried out the Bobux shoes we were really impressed with the look and feel. However we decided that we would decide for ourselves what the right size was based on how far from the end of the shoe her toe was. Unfortunately they didn’t have the style we wanted in the size that we needed. Luckily you can buy Bobux shoes from various places online. Bobux themselves have a website and they are also available on Amazon. We therefore bought our shoes online as the store where we tried them on didn’t get back to us about getting the right size in stock.
My Daughter was really excited when her shoes arrived and wanted to put them on straight away. She loves her Bobux shoes, she’s always really keen to put them on and she walks really well in them. I can’t tell if they are indeed better for her feet than say Clarks would be. However the research does suggest that they are. All I know is my daughter finds them comfortable to walk in, they are great quality and I feel I’m giving my daughter the best of both worlds. A barefoot feeling, but with no chance of cuts and splinters.